I have always advocated taking the slow road when starting out in FLR. This is for many reasons with the number one reason being you do not want to turn your partner off to this wonderful and delightful thing that is a female led relationship. When you get in touch with your submissive or dominant side it can be extremely exciting and you want to dive right in. I know, I have been there myself. What may work better is taking steps slowly towards the goal rather than diving right in and setting up a bunch of rules. It can be overwhelming to create a bunch of new rules around FLR. I find it best to let things progress with a more natural feel.
One of those slow steps is asking permission for the male orgasm during intercourse. Intercourse is a natural part of an intimate relationship. This method can be interjected rather effortlessly during intimacy.
For the male, it is becoming mindful of what is going on and asking permission to have an orgasm during intercourse. For the female, it will be instructing the male not to finish during intercourse until she is ready for it.
Let’s look at intercourse a bit closer, generally speaking, when the man has an orgasm, it’s game over for the couple. This is no secret to anyone. When the male has an orgasm, the body goes into a refractory period reducing the erection and his arousal (at least hormone wise). Having the woman permit the orgasm is not an unreasonable way to go about it. It is actually a better way to go because it prevents the intercourse finishing before everyone has reached a climax or suitable pleasure.
Why This Works
This works for many reasons, first, men love to satisfy their partner. It is something we men take deep satisfaction in. By telling the man not to finish, you are telling him that you are still enjoying sex and want to continue. He will naturally want to keep satisfying you even if it means holding off from orgasm. If you are the woman introducing FLR to the man, this can be effective too and will also act as a way of priming him of your authority.
As a man wanting FLR, this method works because you are putting her needs first, and showing her first hand in the heat of the moment. Even if she lets you finish when you ask, it is her permission you are getting. You are telling her that she is in charge by asking. Having her in control of your orgasm can be stimulating psychologically.
As a woman, dictating when he can finish allows the couple to focus on her needs. She is no longer competing with the penis as far as who will climax first. That alone can be reassuring for the woman and allow her to relax even more pleasure during intercourse.
This method is subtle yet straight forward. A way to make this work is to be sincere and do it often during sex. Frequency and repetition create a natural tendency. By putting her needs first, you allow the opportunity for longer (and better- hopefully) intercourse. It is one way that you establish that her needs come first. That is a big part of a successful female led relationship.
What If She Says No, No Orgasm For You Tonight!
This practice does not guarantee the male an orgasm. Anytime you ask for permission you do run the risk of her saying no. Don’t worry, it probably will happen and it just may leave you frustrated and her well satisfied. Welcome to a female led relationship! It is a clear sign you are doing it right. Being denied an orgasm while providing an amazing one for the woman very well may be the new normal at some point in your FLR. It doesn’t mean it has too or will. Having the female decide whether the male orgasms during sex can be full of surprises.
Being denied can be both frustrating and invigorating. It’s a bit of paradox. For the male, a lot goes on during the arousal stage and for the woman, a lot goes on during the orgasm stage. Women can have continual orgasms and or sustained moments of ecstasy. It can go on for quite a while, leaving her utterly satisfied. As a man, it is well worth sacrificing an orgasm to see your lover quiver at your touch.
In the end, great sex or not (hopefully not!), the male needs to accept her authority in this matter. By asking her or her telling, she has the authority. The male orgasm is such a mainstay of sexual normalcy it is interesting and even fascinating to see a new sex life unfold when she says no.
In the end, it’s about finding ways to increase her pleasure and reinforce her authority. Having her give permission to allow a male orgasm is one way to reinforce her authority and focus on her pleasure.
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