5 Tips For Starting An Amazing Female Led Relationship

Tip # 1- Understand Your Desire For FLR

Most things in life always come back to the WHY. FLR is no different, you need to have a desire to have this in your life. As humans we are all looking to create comfort and move away from discomfort. What discomfort are you trying to move away from? How is a female led relationship benefitting you? These are deep questions to ponder. Success in starting a female led relationship requires understanding your desires to bring this into your life.

A female led relationship can be an amazing change to your life. Obviously, a kink element to FLR exists. I suggest moving beyond the kink when answering this question. Look at this way, you could have the most attractive partner in the world, they could be drop dead beautiful on the outside at some point you still have to sit on the couch together. What are you going to talk about? You need substance not just surface. I look at the kink or BDSM aspects as just part of a female led relationship. No different than sex is to a marriage. It is part of it, it does not define it.

You have to go down many layers to find your answer. For some woman, it may be wanting a dominant side of their personality to come out. And the same for men, it may be an exploration of their submissive side. Look at the benefits you are looking to get out a female led relationship and explore them, it will lead your desire to try it.

Remember to divorce fantasy from reality. While any relationship can incorporate fantasy into it. A lasting female led relationship is built on love, admiration, and respect. Fantasies are great and can be a healthy part of your life. Make sure you are not basing your relationship around your fantasy.

Tip #2- Take It Slow

If your read my book and blog you will hear a reoccurring theme, patience. Slow down, take it easy. The idea of FLR can certainly get your juices going, all the more reason to take it slow. It is a marathon not a race. We live in a gotta have it now society, well, that is not always the best path in a relationship. This is for a reason, a big one too. Female led relationships defy conventional thinking. We live in a patriarchal society in the modern world. Culturally, you have been programmed to be comfortable this way.

It takes time to adjust to a new way of being. Even though you both may want it, an adjustment period is still needed. Don’t fight city hall on this, be patient and allow the relationship change to take place at its own pace. The slow road is the fast road most times. Check out the blog Being Patient With FLR for more information on this idea.

Patience is the ultimate payoff. The thing when starting out, it could only take a few months to lay down a foundation that will last for years upon years inn your relationship. As each partner gains a deeper understanding of each other, the slow road let’s those ideas sink into the cracks.

Tip #3- Pick One Area For Her To Take Charge First

You may love the idea of the FLR and your partner may agree to try it or be just as interested as you and share your enthusiasm. That’s great, and a fantastic starting point. Using tip #2 (Take It Slow), find one area to start where she can take complete control. The idea here is to come up with an area of the relationship where she takes complete control. It allows her to be the leader without being overwhelmed with a massive change.

It could be control of finances, diet, how you dress, sex life, cleaning, etc. It does not really matter the what. The key is that it is something you both whole heartily agree on and this allows her to be 100% supported in starting out. Whatever it is, it most likely will be an adjustment for both of you. Having one thing you are both in agreement with makes the starting point easier and manageable.

Overtime, as she is comfortable being the leader she will begin to understand that she is in charge and be much more comfortable in the role. She will then begin to lead with more authority.

Tip #4- Communicate Often

One of the best parts of being in a female led relationship is the open communication that comes from this. I think is is in part due to the dynamic of the women being in charge versus men. Women naturally are leaders in the home, they are more focused on the day to day activities and don’t get too far ahead of themselves. Men tend to be more vision driven overall and need to know where they are headed to be comfortable.

The relationship requires the man to check in more with the woman for guidance and discussion of ideas. Men can be very decisive and just do things. When you add FLR into the mix, the man now needs to stop and check in with the woman. While it may seem like a loss of control (and to some it may feel that way), it is more of an addition of a different set of eyes and intuition to help make decisions or come up with ideas. If the saying “together we are better” is true, then FLR certainly adds a dimension to this to the mix.

Now with all start said, you could have a female partner that likes being in charge and wants to make decisions and is comfortable with that. If that is going to be the modus operandi than that too should be discussed and agreed upon. No matter what your dynamic, communication plays a role in your success.

When starting out make sure you communicate on all the important topics in the relationship early and often. For ideas on a tactic to help foster this, check out the post Embrace Her Needs- Adding Weekly Meetings In FLR.

Tip #5- Focus on Her Needs

In FLR you’ll hear a lot of sayings like “She Makes The Rules”, “She’s In Charge”, “She’s The Boss”, etc. While I love those terms, the ladies still love to be pampered and feel supported. With the pampering and support, this is definitely an AND not an Or. Understanding her needs is part of the trick in a FLR. It comes back to communication, are her needs clearly defined and understood. We do not need to get too deep on this subject.

Most times you can take a look round and see what she is up to and understand her needs. A lot of women could use more help around the house. While some FLR sites immediately turn the man into the maid, it is really not the norm for most relationships. What she does need is help. Supporting her can be as easy as just picking up the slack around the house. Find what things she does not like doing and take them off her plate. That alone will be a huge relief.

Pampering can be a fun activity for both. A foot or back massage can go along way in helping someone feel better. How can the male pamper her daily/weekly/monthly? What activities does she enjoy? It goes beyond bringing home flowers (though they are always appreciated). Part of making pampering a steady part of FLR is finding activities that she enjoys and the man can do competently. Talk about the things she likes and work them in to your week.

A lot of times it is the little things done consistently that add up to a great relationship. Support and pampering are not one time activities. With everything in life, a learning process still must occur. Take the time and figure these things out, it leads a lot of fun and intimacy in female led relationships.

What makes female led relationships so amazing is the servitude dynamic, the giving and receiving aspect of it. For a lot of women, it is not about taking control that makes FLR so great, it is about not having her needs ignored and her desires playing second fiddle. For the man, many are right at home taking care of their woman. It’s arousing for them to be around a woman who is confident and happy. Men enjoy touching their woman, so massages and other pampering play into a man’s desire to be connected with their partner.

Conclusion

Starting an amazing female led relationship is not difficult, like anything it will have it’s challenges and opportunities. Stay with your desire and breath life into each and every day. If the idea of trying a FLR is coming up in your life, great, give these tips some thoughts and go ahead and give it a try. If you feel any trepidation about bringing this up to your significant other, jump right into Tip #1. Dive into your desire, and go deep, keep asking the question, why do I want this? The deeper you go the more profound the answers will be.

If you want to try it because you think the sex will be better, keep digging, why? As you dig deeper, you may discover things like you want the relationship to be more intimate and share a deeper connection. When it is genuine, telling your partner you want to experience a deeper connection with them is more effective than saying you want better sex. Do you see the difference? The deeper you go, the more meaningful and real your reasons are and the easier it is to talk to your partner about it.

Starting a FLR may require a little bit of vulnerability when approaching the topic with your partner. If your desire is strong enough, you will certainly get through it. Do your best to divorce any fantasy from reality. Be yourself, know why you want it, explore the benefits, and be willing to ask for what you want. And be open to what your partner may have to say to the idea. It is a path you go down together.