What Is A Ruined Orgasm?
I introduced this to my wife, now she knows how to give a ruined orgasm to me. I find it frustrating and exciting all at the same time. In FLR, the sex is focused on the female’s pleasure and orgasm. One way to keep that focus is to have the male receive a “ruined orgasm”. A “ruined orgasm” is when the male is brought to the point of climax (usually by a hand technique) and then all stimulation is stopped right before the ejactulation occurs. This results in the orgasm lacking the usual contractions, thus limiting the force of the orgasm. Instead of semen shooting out, it dribbles out. The sensation is much less intense and often can leave the male frustrated.
The Tease
It’s the ultimate tease. Imagine being aroused, you are at the point of no return and suddenly everything stops but your body can’t stop. The pleasurable stimulation has stopped right when you want it the most. Your body both reacts to the pleasure and the sudden withdraw. The orgasm is on its way but it’s different. It lacks the feeling of ecstasy when the body contracts in response to hitting the climax. During the time when these last strokes should be bringing you to the finish, you are now paused, feeling that time go with no more attention. And then it happens, your body releases your built-up semen but it slowly drips from your penis. Your female looks over at you with a smirk, you have been ruined.
When done correctly the male may still be aroused. Some females are able to give multiple ruined orgasms at one time. It is a timing thing. Overall, it will be less of an orgasm for him. For those who like to play and try new things, no harm can be done in doing it besides him still being aroused and frustrated.
Female In Control
Ruined orgasms are similar to most things in FLR, usually the male suggests it and the woman goes along, then discovering the benefits for her in doing it. While the idea of a ruined orgasm may seem odd and unusual, it can have a place in your relationship. It is one further way the female can control the male orgasm. It is a way to keep him guessing for sure. Once a female has it down, it is a tool in her playbook that she can use anytime.
This technique can support the dynamics of a female led relationship. And for those that incorporate male chastity, the ruined orgasm can be a way to add some relief and still be in the spirit of the denial of chastity thus adding another firm of frustration to an already frustrating practice.
The Science Works
Let’s take a quick look at the neuroscience behind a ruined orgasm. In males, the arousal period causes the neurochemicals of oxytocin and dopamine to flood the brain. Oxytocin increases the feeling of closeness and bonding and dopamine provides pleasure sensations. These neurochemicals are flushed away during a male orgasm when prolactin is released. Prolactin decreases the dopamine and oxytocin production. Basically, it set’s up the refractory period in males where the arousal is lost.
In contrast, the ruined orgasm can (not always) stop or lessen the release of prolactin in males while still allowing the testicles to be drained. For those that like the feeling of arousal (and who doesn’t), it is a way to drain the testicles and still stay aroused or at least not have the crash of the usual orgasm.
Practice Makes Perfect
Part of the fun with ruined orgasms is the practice time to get it right. If you partner is willing to ruin you or be ruined, then take the time and give it a try. Some women who like to perform RO’s have their partner tell them when they are feeling the orgasm coming on. This allows them to stop just in time and ruin it for the male. Like most things, it takes practice, try setting aside a few weeks to practice.
Give it a try and see if it works for you as a couple. Prediction: if you are into FLR, then a ruined orgasm will find its place in your relationship and you can reap the benefits of it. Also, do not be surprised if it makes the male even more frustrated at times. It’s all in the name of fun and keeping her top of mind.
Ruined orgasm vs. post-orgasm torture
Keeping a man in chastity is an excellent way to make him always eager to serve and please. His ever increasing libido will translate into a constant desire to do please his keyholder and never disappoint her, focussing day and night on her well-being.
If the woman likes to be pleased orally and does not care for sexual intercourse, permanent chastity has no downsides, and she might as well lock the man up and throw away the key.
If she on the other hand enjoys intercourse, it will be necessary to release the sub occasionally, because after a long period of chastity it will be very hard for him to avoid premature ejaculation.
The easy way to do this is to unlock his cock, tell him to gratify himself and then lock him up again, but by doing so she might miss an opportunity to turn this event into an educational path and strengthen his devotion, obedience and self-denial.
The “ruined orgasm”, which means masturbating the man until he is about to climax and then stop, is supposed to give the man an incomplete orgasm that does not affect his libido. I am personally skeptical about this technique, for starters because it’s very hard to time correctly and secondly because it doesn’t solve the problem of premature ejaculation.
Post-orgasm torture, on the other hand, seems to me a lot more useful. To use this technique effectively, the woman must estimate the time she would like her sub to last during intercourse. If that time is, say, 15 minutes, she is going to tell him that that is how long she is going to masturbate him, regardless of whether he is going to come or not. If he will come after 1 minute, for example, he will get 14 minutes of post-orgasm torture and so on.
Ladies, be aware that the penis is extremely sensitive after an orgasm, and when you keep stroking him, the man will most likely start thrashing about, screaming and begging you to stop, so you need to tie him up firmly and gag him before you start.
If the sub eventually learns to control himself and the 15 minutes don’t seem to be a challenge any more, don’t let him rest on his laurels, raise the bar! You can either set a higher goal (20 minutes for example) or do things while masturbating him that will turn him on and make it harder for him to resist coming (sit on his face, moan in his ears, etc.).