No Pain, No Gain
Truth be told, I’m not really into pain but somehow I just love spanking. That is, I love it when my wife takes out the paddle and lets me have it on my bare bottom. I find it arousing, submissive, and cathartic all at the same time. I’ve read a few books on the topic, basically wondering, why in the world do I love spanking so much. It is still a bit of mystery of why I am drawn to this. What can you do? Keep spanking me, please! As much as I love pegging and other fun things, spanking has become one of my favorite pastimes.
If spanking is new to you, don’t worry, it does not provide any permanent damage, generally speaking and… provided you do it correctly! The worst it can do is leave you bruised for a few days and make it uncomfortable to sit. Disclaimer: if you have health concerns always seek a professional for medical advice.
Why Do I Love Spanking?
Back to my question, why do I love spanking, it is for a number of reasons. Why it may be hard to put a finger on the deep profound reason, it certainly provides many things. For one, it is something that my wife and I can do together. It is a two or more person event. Note: I have yet to be spanked by more people than my wife, thank you! It also takes you to the edge, how far is enough? Surprisingly, your backside can take an amazing amount of punishment, it’s almost like it was meant to be spanked.
Spanking is also submissive, you are giving yourself over to your partner. This is a vulnerable act and an act of trust. It can certainly lead to dominant and submissive role play if you are into that. It provides sound effects as well. I know first hand how satisfied my wife feels at the sound of a crisp paddle smack. It really is quite satisfying on the ears.
I love seeing how far my partner will go too. For the person doing the spanking, how much do you lay into the other person? Each person is different and it can change day to day. One of the biggest things is the end result, the emotional release and emotional connection to my wife. I love her more for spanking me, as odd as that sounds, it is true. Psychologically, I almost always feel better. Something shifts internally. I am more productive and focused. For me, spanking is fun and takes the edge off. It is a stress reliever.
It also makes me want to submit to my wife even more. A good spanking will often leave me aroused and inclined to go down on my wife as an act off thanks for what she has done. It is not always necessary for her, I’m always ready though.
Getting Started
This is obviously subjective, everyone has their own constraints in their lives and their own level of openness about trying new things. First, decide you want to be spanked. Make the decision then the rest will be a bit easier. You can always come out and ask your partner their thoughts on spanking, see how open to it they are.
During foreplay or intercourse you can lightly spank your partner and see if they retaliate. If they strike you back, that’s a great sign. If things are getting hot and spicy you can take their hand and put on your backside. Whether they take message or not, you can ask for a spanking. During the heat of the moment, little steps towards what you want can be great feelers of how your partner may react to the suggestion.
My wife and I have always had a playful bit of kink in our relationship. Our foray into Pegging, Spanking, and ultimately FLR built up over a number of years. A spank here or there was not out of place. I know she does not like to be spanked but she has no problem striking my backside on occasion and most times when I ask.
Breaking The Ice
What broke the ice for us is that I bought her a paddle one year. It was a nice silicone model, easy on the hand, firm on the backside. I think the timing of it was more important. We were at a point in our marriage where she was deep into the “mommy” years of child raising. And as much as I helped, the kids always demanded more of her than me. This was a bit exhaustive for her. So when I presented the paddle one night, I presented from a place of letting her frustration out on my backside.
As silly as that may sound it worked. I’d ask her what was frustrating her and she would tell me and smack my bottom. She liked it, it never went to her head but it definitely gave her a connection to spanking as a stress relieving activity. It was something different, a way to let out some tension and also a way for us to be connected. Over the years our spanking has evolved and she does it a lot for me because I enjoy it. Still at times, she takes a great joy in “smacking that ass” as she likes to say.
As I always say with anything in the bedroom, it is always touch and go, and timing certainly can help. For getting started, look for ways to bring it up, try a little smack, buy a paddle as a gift, try it as a stress reliever, etc. Once you get excited about it, the rest tends to work itself out. And remember to be patient, as much as you may learn to love a good spanking, it may take time for your partner to get comfortable spanking you.
However, once they get comfortable administering a good hard spanking, watch out, you just might get what you asked for. As for me, I get excited for a spanking and it works best for me not see the swat coming. I like to just look away and take the spanking as it comes.
A Little Spanking Context
You may have heard the term domestic discipline used in female led relationships. This post is not about that use of spanking. My wife does not spank me for punishment, we do it for play and enjoyment and it suits my submissive side quite a bit. While I am not opposed to domestic discipline, it is spanking used for punishment or behavior modifications. It is a way to correct unwanted behaviors. I found a great blog on domestic discipline at DomesticDiscipline.info.
In the end, it always comes down to what you are comfortable with. With patience, communication and a little trial and error that comfort zone can certainly expand. If you do decide to try spanking remember it is a consensual practice. Discuss some ground rules about safety and even use a safe word if need be. Spanking can have may positive benefits, it also something that requires responsibility and safety first as the general operating rule. Check out SpankingBasics.com to learn more about the do’s and don’t of spanking as well as the many types of spanking you can implement!
I’ll be posting more about spanking for sure. I’ll get more into the specifics of it, and what I really enjoy. My wife does use a number of paddles to keep her hand from getting sore and to keep it interesting. She got them from Tantus if you are interested. They are beautiful and extremely effective on my backside! Enjoy!!!